waterstuff.

hello gabriel, care if i make a few modifications to your initial draft contract.


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Here's a contract I drafted for the swimming lesson.

I agree to provide free swiming lessons for Gabriel Goh Sze Wei and Eugene Low Ting Jun. I agree to instantaneous results, which include the aspect of floating on the water, kicking, basic strokes, the forward motion in water, and other bullshit swimming techniques which I have failed to bring up.

I agree to uphold the highest levels of safety during my lessons. I will protect my students even in the event that one of them pulls down my swimming trunks, or in the event when I get poked in the pool. I will ensure correct and safe poolside safety by carrying a float with Hello Kitty imprints on it. I will also carry a Bobdog float around. I will overrule the Swimming Complex's guard's orders in the event of rainy weather or lightning conditions.

Lastly, I agree to provide my service free of charge to the students as mentioned above, and I agree to class hours which are to their preference.

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Signature
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here are the modifications
1) in any case that any of you experiences a cramp, i am not obliged to save any one of you. Instead, i will be standing at the side of the pool laughing my ass off as you struggle and squirm in the water like a helpless worm.

2) in the circumstance that my students still are unable to swim after my excellent guidance, i am obliged to whack the crap out of them as a form of punishment.

3) at any point of time during the lesson, i have the power to punish my students anyway and whenever i deem necessary. eg.whipping, electrocuting, choking, and all others that can be found here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_torture_methods_and_devices



but on the other hand, how the heck do ya expect me to teach ya how to swim.
not as if i'm an olympic swimmer, just that i can swim. -.-
go join some beginner swimming course at the bishan pool la!
and swim more.
learn with the lil kiddies. (: